One Huge Soap Opera
There are times when I think my existence overdid the diversity bit associated with the Evolutionary Process. It seems likely that most people feel personal inadequacies of various sorts at various periods in their life. To some extent it seems that happiness for us depends on unhappiness of others for survival and depth. The confusion and frustrations of our formative years usually give way to goals, personal growth, competition with others, social complexities, sexual peculiarities, the search for power, accumulation of power and recognition, ethical challenges, friendship, love, hobbies, and of course personal contentment.
If we have considerable gratitude about life it is primarily because we know so many others who suffered a lot in life. We just can’t be constantly happy because happiness depends on escaping all sorts of things which create despair and sadness. I chauffeured for an extremely wealthy lady widow one summer whose whole genetic clan wreaked with money and material benefits. It is no exaggeration to say not a single member of this clan was happy by any measure of the word. They were always angry about something, seldom anything of real importance, and bitterly complained about everybody and everything. My only official responsibility was to chauffeur her around the city on Tuesdays and stay home Saturday night when the maid was off.
The most intense exercise almost everyday was the endless attempt by the rich widow to catch the maid eating some of the good bacon, which was reserved for her, not to be touched by the maid. She liked to bare her soul to me every chance she got. I didn’t dislike her, she was plenty nice enough to me, but it was pitiful to see someone, wallowing in wealth, so unhappy.
It took me a lifetime to comprehend that wealth, power, social position, good looks, athletic prowess, titles, brilliance——none of this generated anything more than temporary elevated spirits, and more often permanent emotional states like eventual depression, frustration, anger, distrust in others, etc. We all know it is not unusual for the rich to have drug addictions as an attempt to change their unpleasant emotional states.
Of course those living in our ghetto hell holes have an even worse fate. No need here to list all their tribulations.
Ironically, most of us have no regrets for all the efforts, stress, progress we made in our productive years. If we don’t have goals and the needed effort/talent/help to achieve some of these goals, then we will have nothing to reflect back on that will give us some gratitude for our lives when we reach our terminational years. It is almost like everything is a catch-22. Damned if we do, and damned if we don’t. Most things in life at times seem rather unreal yet need to be muddled through one way or another.
No matter how energetic we were about so many things in our productive years, if we can’t logically and emotionally understand when enough is enough, this spells trouble for our remaining years. When someone says “Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have to work for a living during our productive years?”, it is a tad ridiculous. It is important that we set some career goals for our productive years and find some success. Maybe the goal is to raise children or have career success, or invent something, or help those less fortunate, or win athletic contests, or in some way be significant at something. To fail across the board spells trouble for our emotional state.
Our American culture puts to much emphasis on individual talent and making our own way in life. Diversity has a huge negative drawback. That is, there can be no maximum achievement of contentment for the maximum number of citizens without the maximum percentage of citizens living by the Golden Rule. The Golden rule makes winners out of everyone—both the givers and the receivers. Of course we try to make it a lot more difficult—throwing into the mix inherited religions, political preferences, cultural lifestyles, ethnicity, personal talents, personal looks, and so on.
I recently started to watch this TV series via Netflix titled Grey’s Anatomy which lasted I guess for many seasons. If you are not familiar with this TV series then the following will be meaningless to you. At first I thought it was a real interesting show with interesting and somewhat plausible medical events taking place in a hospital, along with the daily lives of some interns and doctors. But after about the first season I began to become annoyed that it really was a glorified soap opera. The actors were superb and while any of the emotional interactions which were happening to varied staff members were plausible enough and stressful enough to happen to anyone, all these stressful personal interactions were happening to the same staff members one after the other, hardly a realistic situation. Earlier in evenings I tend to watch DVD lectures on serious topics by professional experts on the topic in question. But by midnight I am ready for simple amusement, not quality concentration, so I put on a netflix video.
To date I am still watching episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and try to figure out why. I know the audience is being played via steering us to varied emotions about characters we have learned to have an interest. For my own part, my productive years were endlessly mired in departmental problems, student problems, immediate family problems, hearings, grants——and being single probably more involved to a greater extent than other faculty. All I really was obligated to do was teach my classes and go home, a relatively stress free life. For varied reasons I kept my social life to a bare minimum, a whole ‘nother’ matter. Constantly being in the ‘mix’ of things is chronically stressful. In my case, when a retirement opportunity arrived (special deal for those a certain age) I grabbed it and eagerly set the ground work for serious semi-hermithood.
This effort for semi-hermithood (patterned after my dad with writing musings the only difference)succeeded for the most part with few, if any, exceptions. The truth is I enjoy my simple daily routine immensely—precisely because it is stress free. I have no immediate family left living, no student problems to solve, no departmental matters to address, no obligatory meetings, no title, no hearings, no involvement in matters of any sort except deciding how best to amuse myself everyday in peaceful satisfying ways.
Given the above why would I watch episodes of Grey’s Anatomy which really triggers emotional feelings towards all these characters with so many stressful events in their lives, one after the other? Something seems a tad strange here. My conclusion is that these are fictional persons, and so whatever they all are up to or whatever is happening in their lives does not involve anyone I, or anyone can personally know. There is absolute certainty that I personally cannot resolve any of these emotional situations being carried out before my eyes, so I can safely have very temporary emotional responses which crisply end immediately after the episode is over. There is zero carry-over. In real life there are serious carry-overs which pushes one to get involved to aid a best outcome.
The first romantic encounter between a new intern and a popular surgeon separated from his wife, occurred in the first episode before they met each other on the job, and then it took probably 15 episodes to resolve whether they would ever become a real couple, and then every member of the cast ends up in emotional situations which are masterfully dragged out for a whole new series of episodes. Clearly all this will go on and on and on. Maybe I will stop watching, or maybe it is just a harmless way to be reminded just how stressful life can be in its productive stage.
I sense, for most people, the productive years need be stressful in order to achieve anything of much note and yet we need at some point to understand when ‘enough is enough’. It won’t be at the same point for all of us, but if we can’t let go we will end up in our terminational years with emotional stresses which we no longer have the title or institution, or energy, or power to control. If we cannot position ourselves to go down the stream gently in our terminational years it will not be a pleasant journey. If we have not secured financial independence and protected our state of health, bad situations beyond our control at that point can be the wrench which messes up the best laid plans.
If I could make the same points without personalizing a musing of this sort I would. On the other hand I write musings for my own personal benefit—period. Writing things out always works best for me to achieve the best and most logical conclusions. Of course these conclusions may change over time, but for the most part, given my age, they do not. It has been my peculiarities in life as the source for many people to comment, “I don’t understand what you are up to most of the time, but you do seem to achieve good endings in the end. Just don’t drag me into this personally unless it becomes a necessity. You can’t come to this well too often or it will dry up.” Of course all this is paraphrased in order to condense the substance.
I am rather proud to report that no one need give me this caution anymore and no-one has had to for years. It is the next generation who race around like chickens with their heads cut off, dealing with all sorts of challenges which lie in front of them. It is just like Greys’ Anatomy——Good theatre, albeit real theatre, and just like Grey’s Anatomy the episodes drag out unmercifully ad nausea. But it is no longer on my watch. I am not worried—evolution moves on like it always has. Will it ever end? I don’t know and I don’t care—I mean how can the dead care?
