A Memorable Doctor
Years ago I had a problem with a cervical disk in my neck which was causing pain in my right arm and shoulder. The specialist sent me to physical therapy, which proved a bad experience for me— except for this neck stretching machine, which did seem to help the situation, albeit it was real painful. They would ask me to stay on the machine for 15 minutes but I could only last 10 minutes. I asked that I just come there for the stretching machine, but this irritated the therapist, and he said no, I had to continue with the whole package. The physician specialist agree with me and suggested I could buy a good neck stretching device if he signed off on it, otherwise no one can purchase such a device. I did and it solved the problem (I am guessing that the stretching somehow stimulated the disk to grow bigger which then made it a better cushion).
At any rate just the shoulder pain remained. But I then developed some dizziness and vertigo when lying down which lasted over several days or weeks. I then went to a neurologist at a reputable hospital seeking answers to the problem. He was a middle aged gentleman who started off our conversation by telling me “You know, I am not really the smartest doctor in the department. It took me 8 years to get through medical school. So whether I am the best one to help you here is problematical.” Huh? What kind of way is that to start off a conversation with a new patient? It crossed my mind that maybe I should just run out of the building.
He then addressed the shoulder pain first. I explained the symptoms as best I could. He then just sat there and commented, “I am thinking. It takes me time to think something through. Another doctor could probably think faster.” I was stunned, but also felt some empathy with guy. Finally, before I dozed off, he told me he was going to put me on Valium. “Valium? that’s for someone with a mental disorder. It also is supposed to be dangerously addictive.” He benignly smiled. “You don’t have a mental condition other than you may perhaps spend a bit more energy thinking than most people. “The dose I am giving you is the lowest dose possible so there is no chance of addiction, and you take it as needed if there is shoulder pain. If this doesn’t work then come in and see one of the smarter neurologists here at the hospital.” He then prescribed like a two year supply of the diazepam (Valium). When I asked ‘why so many?“ he replied, “Well, this way you are not bothered with constantly refilling the prescription.” “Aren’t you afraid I will start taking these pills like candy?” “You seem like a smart guy to me, that would be a stupid thing to do.”
He then tackled the vertigo and dizziness. He handed me a magazine and told me to browse through it while he pondered this problem. He stayed in the room, closed his eyes and then did his pondering. All this seemed so astounding to me that I couldn’t even get mad. It was good theatre. Finally, his pondering over, he said “There is procedure available that might help solve this problem but I will need go and refresh about the details of how to perform it.” And he left. He comes back and I lie on this table with my head hanging over the edge. He starts to move my head in certain directions, and asks if that hurts. I tell him it hurts a little. He then stops, “Since you have this cervical disc problem it is too risky for me to continue.” He says, “wait a week and then if the problem still exists see one of the smarter doctors here”. He had mentioned the name of the procedure. So I went home, looked it up, laid on my bed with my neck hanging over the edge and moved my head as dictated by the directions of the procedure, and at the end of the varied positional movements I sat up and the dizziness and vertigo were gone. It seems there were some particles of some sort in one of my vestibular canals which needed to be moved elsewhere as these particles were creating false stimuli and creating the vertigo. By rotating my head in certain ways the particles were moved to some sac out of the way. Dr. ‘Not Very Smart’ solved both problems.
For some reason I thought of this doctor yesterday. What a character!. Sometime afterward I managed to get my medical care transferred over to the Northwestern Medical School Faculty Foundation so any needed doctors would always be members of the Medical School (and thus thoroughly vetted). My current General Practitioner at Northwestern Univ. immediately questioned “What is this Valium prescription for? I am not going to give you an endless supply of Valium, no way.” I explained the story, and told him that I actually only take one of those low dose tablets once or twice a month if the shoulder feels tight. Normally a person takes one every 8 hours. So he agree to give me a prescription for 15 tablets if they really would last 3 months. He would renew it endlessly but would monitor my usage closely.
All this is puzzling. Maybe we need more ‘dumb’ doctors. You know, maybe that ‘dumb’ doctor was really ‘smart like a fox’. And many of you think I am a ‘smart ass character”!. Those who have known me the longest most likely would say “No, just really a ‘dumb ass character’.” Let’s assume here he was not the ‘sharpest knife in the drawer’. But he compensated by methodically and patiently thinking a situation through to a creative and logical conclusion. That made him a good doctor.
So many of life experiences have intriguing sub plots buried within them which give food for thought. This makes most days an adventure which costs nothing. And more importantly, this ensures our life never becomes the ‘same old, same old, over and over again’.
