Addiction as Delusional Access to Contentment

Addiction as Delusional Access to Contentment

From our earliest age we begin to search for ways to become somebody, to matter, to enjoy life and be contented. Good behavior brings reward, but the rewards don’t last; getting our way on matters brings pleasure but it doesn’t last—and our experimenting often fails. There is a song I remember from my youth which had the lyric :

“How many times have you heard someone say
"If I had his money, I could do things my way"
But little they know that it's so hard to find
One rich man in ten with a satisfied mind

Money can't buy back your youth when you're old
Or a friend when you're lonely or a love that's grown cold
The wealthiest person is a pauper at times
Compared to the man with a satisfied mind

When life has ended and my time has run out
My friends and my loved ones will leave, there's no doubt
But there's one thing for certain when it comes my time
I'll leave this old world with a satisfied mind”

It sounded insightful back then, but youth is rarely satisfied by good advice. Experience trumps advice most of the time. So off we go searching for something we are good at, something we can be a success at. It would help, for sure—we are sure, if we could live in a more wealthy family, or be attractive enough to have endless sexual conquests, or be smart enough to get all A’s in school, or have such a dynamic personality that we are very popular socially, or be a good enough athlete to be well known, or be able to sing so well that huge audiences would come to hear us, or just even to be so slick that we could fake it until we make it. What complicates youth is the need for excitement—the more intense the better.  Even should the particular adventure result in pain of some sort, if the excitement attained was good enough, it was worth it. We got a ticket for driving 100 miles per hour on the highway but it was exhilarating.  We got detention at school for something, but the recognition and laughs we got from other students let us stand out amongst the crowd. 

At some point in time these momentary bouts of recognition and ‘fame’ begin to wear thin, and we realize when all is said and done, usually more said than done, there is no permanence to these off the cuff performances, and certainly nothing of lasting value. Few things are more pitiful than to see post adolescents still pulling off the same old tired antics to gain public attention.  And the next day, after they crash, they know it too. 

At some age, which varies, almost all of us decide we need to get serious about achieving some contentment in life.  The options are all attractive—MONEY, THINGS, SEX, MARRIAGE, FAME, TITLES, POWER, WISDOM, FRIENDS, SHOPPING, TRAVELING, and the list goes on.  All of these have value—excellent value—up to a point. The goal is to acquire an innate sense of when ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 

When enough is never enough contentment cannot be reached.  We keep trying and end up in various sorts of addictions. Addictions are rarely, if ever, a good thing. This has been noted plenty enough by plenty enough notables in the past. Below are some examples: 

“There are in fact four very significant stumbling-blocks in the way of grasping the truth, which hinder every man however learned, and scarcely allow anyone to win a clear title to wisdom, namely, the example of weak and unworthy authority, long standing custom, the feeling of the ignorant crowd, and the hiding of our own ignorance while making a display of our apparent knowledge.” Roger Bacon (English philosopher, scientist)  Long standing custom can be another phrase for addiction to something.

“Not all that tempts your wand’ring eyes
And heedless hearts, is lawful prize;
Nor all that glitters, gold.” Thomas Gray (British Poet)  What we are addicted to is the glittering gold.

“When a small child....I thought success spelled happiness. I was wrong. Happiness is like a butterfly which appears and delights us for one brief moment, but soon flits away.” Anna Pavlova (Russian Ballet dancer) Again, success here could be substituted for addiction to something.

“The more a man lays stress on false possessions, and the less sensitivity he has for what is essential, the less satisfying is his life.” Carl Gustav Jung (Swiss psychologist, psychiatrist) The false possessions is another way to describe an addiction.

“I am richer than E. H. Harriman, I have all the money I want and he hasn’t.” John Muir (American Naturalist) This is another example of enough is enough succeeding as an example of how to reach contentment.  

“Incompetence is vanity and PR and people who talk about ‘massaging’ or positioning’ or ‘spin control’. It’s a society that celebrates style over substance, image over reality, credentials over experience; a society that embraces the credo of the Philadelphia sheriff John Green---’Fake it till you make it’; a society devoted to consuming and acquiring, to self-fulfillment and self-indulgence, a society infatuated with money, power, sex, and drugs; a narcissistic, solipsistic, materialistic society saturated with advertising, dominated by entertainment, and living only for the here and now.” Art Carey (American editor and author) Style over substance, image over reality are other ways to characterize addictions while everything else highlighted are examples of addictions.

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” Unknown.  In other words, after you achieve being addicted to something, you are still unfulfilled after the momentary high. 

“we still spend millions of dollars on aspirin and psychiatrists and tissues to wipe away the tears of anguish and uncertainty that result from our confusion and our emptiness....The closed circle of pure materialism is clear to us now---aspirations become wants, wants become needs, and self- gratification becomes a bottomless pit. All around us we have seen success in this world’s terms become ultimate and desperate failures. Teenager and college students, raised in affluent surroundings and given all the material comforts our society can offer, commit suicide. Entertainer and sports figures achieve fame and wealth but find the world empty and dull without the solace of stimulation of drugs. Men and women rise to the top of their professions after years of struggling. But despite their apparent success, they are driven nearly mad by a frantic search for diversions, new mates, games, new experiences---anything to fill the diminishing interval between their existence and eternity- --the way to serve yourself is to serve others; and that Aristotle was right, before them, when he said the only way to assure your- self happiness is to learn to give happiness.” Mario Cuomo. (U.S. Governor)  This is such an apt description of the result from meaningless addictions.

“Success has made failures of many men.” Cindy Adams (American gossip columnist and writer)  Another way to say that success at becoming addicted has made a failure to become contented.

“A tomb now suffices him for whom the whole world was not sufficient.” Unknown  He who finds enough is enough gets a tomb as does those for whom enough is never enough. The end game is death.

“The rich have a passion for bargains as lively as it is pointless.” Francoise Sagan (French playwright and novelist)  Pointless is a nice word describing addiction.

“He does not possess wealth; it possesses him.” Benjamin Franklin (American author, printer, politician, scientist) Again, reworded this could be ‘he does not possess an addiction, it possesses him’.

“Poverty is a bitter thing; but it is not as bitter as the existence of restless vacuity and physical, moral, and intellectual flabbiness, to which those doom themselves who elect to spend all their years in that vainest of all vain pursuits---the pursuit of mere pleasure as a sufficient end in itself.” Teddy Roosevelt. (American President) The pursuit of mere pleasure is the motive for an addiction.

“We now communicate with everyone, and say absolutely nothing. We have reconstructed the Tower of Babel. and it is a television’s antenna (and lots of other gadgets). A thousand voices producing a daily parody of democracy, in which everyone’s opinion is afforded equal weight, regardless of substance or merit. Indeed, it can even be argued that opinions of real weight tend to sink with barely a trace in television’s ocean of banalities.” Ted Koppel (American broadcast journalist) This is an apt description of a whole society filled with aimless babble as an addiction.

“The command of one’s self is the greatest empire a man can aspire unto, and consequently, to be subject to our own passions is the most grievous slavery. He who best governs himself is best fitted to govern others.” John Milton (English poet) To be subject to our own passions is another way to describe addictions.

“Enough’s as good as a feast.” Scottish Proverb This is the rationale for not becoming addicted

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.” Ralph Waldo Emerson (American essayist and poet) A foolish consistency is another clever way to describe addiction.

“Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he
Who finds himself, loses his misery.” Matthew Arnold (British poet and critic) Finding himself is another way to express not becoming addicted.

“We would rather be ruined than change. We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the moment And let our illusions die.” Wystan Hugh Auden (British born American poet)  The illusion here would be our addictions.

“Nothing can bring your peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.” Ralph Waldo Emerson (American essayist and poet)  The triumph of principles is what replaces addictions.

“Associate with the noblest people you can find; read the best books; live with the mighty. But learn to be happy alone. Rely upon your own energies, and so not wait for, or depend on other people.” Thomas Davidson (Scottish-American philosopher) Depending too much on others is a kind of addiction.

“I often compulsively pursue happiness no matter how bad it makes me feel” Unknown.  A good description of the result of an addiction.

“Cocaine isn’t habit forming. I should know - I’ve been using it for years.” Tallulah Bankhead (American actress) Clever play on words.

“The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken .” Samuel Johnson (English author)  Excellent description of how addiction works. 

“The time will come when humans can do almost everything with the technology and still one thing remains impossible, releasing addiction on technology.” Toba Beta (Indonesian author)  This identifies a modern addiction. 

“Sexual addiction is the fastest growing addiction in the United States. It’s based in part on the fact that obtaining sexual literature, pornography, is so convenient today. It’s more readily available. It is there at the click of a finger.” David Bird (British bridge writer)  Addiction to visual images to replace actual sex with a partner is,  like most all matters of sex, a difficult habit to analyze. Does someone who has orgasms often via visual images have a more active sex life than a couple who have sex a few times a month? Little about sex is ever very clear and mostly very personal. 

So how can a society protect citizens from the tragedies which are subsequent to addictions?  Basically, education about addictions are a start. This needs to be followed by medical addiction centers across the country, to help people deal with addictions of any sort. Then we have to change recreational drug addiction from crimes to medical problems.  Most addictions are not clear cut. Clearly if you have a glass a wine with your dinner you are not an alcoholic.  But just when are you? Part of the problem is the individual variation as to when something is addiction. Take shopping. Most everybody likes to shop and purchase things.  And if we are able to, we kind of know when enough is enough.  Preventing and beating addiction is essentially a preventive medicine program. The right professionals could write up questionnaire type exercises to help people figure out if something has become an addiction. A different questionnaire would be needed for each kind of addiction. 

It is best to understand that too much of anything can harm you—and that includes food, oxygen, water, exercise, gambling, sex, wealth, power, and the list goes on and on.  Part of education is to know when enough is enough of just about anything. A slice of pizza is good. Eating the whole pizza is not. 

Addictions are insidious medical conditions. All of them are. Addictions start when we start down the wrong road to attain some contentment. We may take heroin to relieve the ‘pain’ associated with a part of our life—physical or mental. Heroin and morphine don’t remove the sensation of pain, but they enable the brain to care less about the pain. In other words heroin blocks the pathway of pain that leads to our emotional centers but not the pathway which leads to the sensation of pain. Remove the source of the pain and a person will care less about taking heroin or morphine. 

Addictions not only reduce personal contentment, but affect whole families, work responsibilities, social relationships, economic well being, and health well-being.  A society will fare best when the Golden Rule is the basis of ethics and ‘enough is enough’ understood as the best restraint operative to overcome addictions.