The locker room, Incognito, and T.O.
This blog was set up originally simply as a file deposit for musings which I sent out to friends. Somehow a lot of people managed to find the URL, and that is ok. Since the blogs were not originally meant for general distribution most have not been carefully edited. I may go back now and do the proper editing. I have recently published a book titled: The Meaning of Life. Anyone interested can find it listed in Amazon.com under the author name Reid S. James. There is a description of the content along with the listing. It was published in late October 2013. Any income from the book will be donated to various 501 category charities. Given the nature of the book, to do otherwise would be hypocritical. Given the original intent of this URL I have never provided an opportunity for any response to these musings. I think I will leave it that way as I don't have the time for a lot of responding to comments by others. These musings are written as food for thought, and do not purport to be anything other than what the blog implies: personal musings. Were I to personally know many of you who visit this URL I sense we would have a lot of engaging conversations. There are too many now for that to be practical.
The locker room, Incognito, and T.O.
Note: (Musing follows)
Author Notes about this Blog
The locker room, Incognito, and T.O.
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/watch-jon-stewart-weighs-dolphins-bullying-scandal-article-1.1510793
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-november-7-2013/the-wrongest-yard---t-d-s-o-s-
Terrell Owens has been criticized by his media character assassinators for being very distant most of his career to teammates. He was not, therefore, or so it goes, a very good teammate and did not contribute to the locker room atmosphere.
The mystery of why T.O. kind of kept to himself is somewhat clearer these days.
T.O. was raised by his grandmother, isolated from other kids. He couldn't leave the yard and run with other kids because his grandmother told him he was special, that he was better than the other kids, that their behaviors were wrong, their language was wrong, many of their actions were wrong, etc. His grandmother instilled in him that he should never lie, that nobody can be trusted except God, that no one would ever give him anything, he had to take it, that other's would constantly try to bring him down. He was the classroom tattle-tale since the teacher knew Terrell would never lie. At first the kids beat him up---the first time T.O. ran home to his grandmother but she wouldn't let him into the house and told him to go back and stand his ground. He did, and although back then he was skinny and not all that athletic, he stood his ground and the other kids learned to not do their 'bad' things when he was around or they would get caught.
Probably as a result of this isolation, T.O. never felt comfortable in social situations. All he really had was a burning desire to be somebody instead of a nobody and a belief that he was special. Despite the romantic notion of some that professional football locker rooms are a clean-cut, tight knit, supportive-to-each-other enclaves of healthy camaraderie, football locker rooms are apparently loaded with cabals of all sorts of 'clicks.' T.O. would have found most locker room antics unfunny, low-life, and exactly the kind of behavior his grandmother instilled in him was bad.
I have watched this 'Incognito' stuff unravel and frankly, it is easy to see why T.O. shut it all out. By the time T.O. reached the pros he had bulked up and developed a presence which enabled him to stay aloof without anyone challenging his right to do otherwise. It is not hard to see how a guy like Martin, who had no such a 'presence' would try to go along and the more he did, the worse characters like Incognito behaved toward him and the funnier a lot of teammates thought it all was. Imagine adult men finding hazing each other titilating, dumping large pails of gateraide on a coach in victory adolescent fun, extorting money from a teammate for some kind of 'fun' he doesn't even want to participate in, using vulgar language about each other's family, setting up football meetings in strip clubs, binge drinking elevated to an obnoxious, arrogant stupor---a stupor bound on occasion to generate physical assaults on others, and claiming that all this is just part of a fun football locker room culture. Why it is all even necessary to become a man.
T.O. had his best years when he kept to himself, aloof from locker room antics, and stayed focused on his training and performance. In his last years he made awkward attempts to be more friendly, but it is always hard to be someone you are not.
The above clips are funny, but painful for what it depicts. And the saddest part of it is the support Incognito got from his fellow players. I'll take T.O. as a role model for kids any day. Clearly everyone on a professional football team is not part of this locker room culture, but it would be interesting to know what percent are. Listening to other football players defend Incognito and hate Martin is repugnant, at least to me. Martin, to me, is a gentle giant, who should have been left alone and let his stats determine his status on the team---and his toughness. Incognito is not tough---he is obnoxious, foul mouthed, and a dirty player. Given the mentality that starts with the owners and extends down the ranks, the situation is not, I suppose, so surprising.
