"It'sAllAboutMe":
This is the nickname my cousin uses to refer to Terrell Owens. The truth of it would be hard to deny. But there are many many people in life for whom that nickname applies---I reckon all of us, to some degree. What sets Terrell apart is his success with it---success being defined here as the means to achieve personal goals.
Several questions arise concerning his "It'sAllAboutMe" persona. Like why is he so obsessed with himself? Why does he build walls around himself from everyone else? How does he get away with it? Others don't. Few around such people ever like them, admire them, are motivated by them, or seek to employ them---for the most part. I can't recall any other sport figure who so many commentators, non team members, fans, league owners and officials, have tried so hard to topple from such a self constructed pedestal. And, is it a planned act? Finally, what happens when his athletic abilities decline (may already be happening)?
First, let's admit it is no crime to focus exclusively on your own athletic performance. It is no crime to develop on your own. It is no crime to be emotionally volatile. For just about anyone else such a road would be an absolute disaster. So why is Terrell the exception?
First, he was raised by his grandmother as a prisoner in her home. Terrell was not allowed outside to play with other children and even when he finally got a bike he was permitted to ride it only from one end of a small yard to the other. He could go to school, and participate in sports, that was it. He had no friends, just watched other kids from his grandmother's window. He did have a brother and sister. So, he must hate his grandmother, right? Strangely no, he still treasures her to this day, although she is non functional with Alzheimers. His grandmother told him over and over he could not play with other children because he was 'special', that he was 'better' than them, that he was not going to grow up and be 'bums' like them, that he had to become 'somebody' on his own, that nobody would ever help him, that he had to be strong and resolute and honest and never let others beat him down. That, so to speak, was his religion. He took the honesty thing seriously and tattled on other kids, who then beat him up. His grandmother would then send him back out to get attacked more telling him, "You can't ever let others beat you down Terrell, go back out and be tougher than them." Terrell did and in his words took some pretty bad beatings.
One need remember that Terrell was no 'born athlete'. He was skinny, not graceful or the ultimate in coordination. He was second string in both high school and most of college. He rose at 5 AM to train on his own, learning about his own body and finding a peacefulness in being alone. Most team members in high school and even most teammates at college hardly remember him. He said little, if anything to anyone. He just listened to coaches work with the first stringers and watched everything wide-eyed and in silence. But his body training and understanding of being a wide receiver kept growing. Every night in college he would call home and talk to his grandmother and she kept up the same drumbeat---"You are special, don't trust anyone but yourself, don't let anyone push you around...."
With his own introspective knowledge about his body he developed into a strong, big, relatively fast wide receiver. For Terrell it was a year long, every day training program. It became his whole life under his full control. Others were not welcome nor trusted. This, briefly, explains why Terrell is why he is---Mr. "It'sAllAboutMe".
Next. How does he get away with it? First, he really doesn't bother others or, with precious few exceptions, bad mouth hardly anyone. Not agree with them yes, but bad mouth no. While professional TV commentators character assassinate Terrell endlessly, he rarely returns it. Others are not part of his world and comments by those not directly in contact with him on a daily basis just don't register. Remember, he expects others to be against him, and negative comments just reinforce this. Fortunately, for Terrell, he developed himself into a truly accomplished athlete. No one coaches Terrell in the classic sense, they either work with him to assist him with his own objectives or they become an object in his way to be removed. Interestingly, it has never been his coaches (Head Coaches or receiver coaches) who put Terrell down. They marvel at his work ethic, his ability to produce under difficult situations, his stamina, his determination, his pride, etc. The usual hurdles for most every player---salary disputes, differences of opinion about strategy, etc.----are simply not hurdles for Terrell---he runs right through them. Each time all the critics say, "he is done now, no one will want him. He is too obstinate, too unbending, to disruptive, etc."
San Francisco didn't let him go because they didn't want him around (although they hated they couldn't control him) and Terrell had to take them to court to get away. Andy Reid didn't get rid of Terrell because he wanted to, he got rid of Terrell because the owner simply drew the line in the sand and said "we will not redo his contract". To Terrell everything is made simple. "FAir is fair" is how he sees monetary matters. If others his calibre make X amt of dollars he stands on that and goes back into his ghetto mode again----"you can't make me!". He can hear his Grandmother, "Don't let them beat you Terrell. Be stronger than them. Hold your ground."
Then there is the teammate issue. How can anyone so self absorbed, be a good teammate? The answer is simple: this is not little league. These are adult professional athletes all highly motivated to perform their individual tasks as best they can. His teammates, with precious few exceptions are intrigued by such a self made star who, more so with San Francisco and Philly, hardly communicates with them, never goes out socially with them, and works harder, is in better shape and more focused than any other teammate they have ever seen. When reporters badger teammates to say something negative and they beg off saying they really don't know him well at all, the reporters take the tactic, "Well, isn't that the point? He is not a good teammate." The almost universal response is that "Terrell Owens has never done anything to me, he doesn't bother or interfere with me or anyone else on this team. He does his job. We admire him. He is a good teammate. He doesn't like to lose and this rubs off on the rest of us."
Is his a staged act? Those around him everyday say no---what you see is the real thing. It is hard to peg accurately. Maybe one should ask, just what kind of mindset develops in a kid who watches other kids socialize and run all over the place and he becomes fixated on becoming some one, instead of a nobody---and do it his way on his own, trusting no one, and perhaps incapable of real closeness with anyone---except of course his grandmother. She, after all, was the one who anointed him 'Special" .
Why does he celebrate every athletic accomplishment in such a self worshipping way, annoying the hell out of those who wish to see some humility. You know, let his deeds do his bragging? This is all well and good for an athlete surrounded by a a vast social network of close supportive friends and mentors. Perhaps this is trite, but Terrell is a one person social network, a one person friend, a one person mentor, driven by an obsession to be somebody that seems boundless. His world really is a one person world and when he scores a touchdown he showcases his entire supporting cast---HIMSELF---and reaches a triumphant feeling of "I did it---I did it---I did it" and wants the whole world to take notice.
Is all this healthy for him? Who knows? When his athletic ability fails him via age, it might not be a pretty sight, or maybe at long last he will accept the battles are over. His basic personality is playful, intelligent, shy, and non threatening. Perhaps he will be satisfied to live off his past, be a commentator, or physical fitness trainer, or even coach wide receivers. With Terrell it is hard to know because he is still caged in his own world. My guess he will either become severely stressed or relieved that the pressure to succeed is over. He likes kids, especially those with little going for them. He himself is the kid he wanted to be and never was.
In the end, Terrell is Terrell and unique enough to defy serious prediction.
