Human Relationships
It would be facetious for me to pretend any personal expertise on this, except as an observer. There appears to be lot innate about our personalities which portend to what extent we mesh with how many in the like-ability arena. There appear no reasons, ethical or otherwise, why differing people have to like each other, to be friends or soul mates. This does not in any way erase the ethical fair is fair mantra or the golden rule of human interactions---to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In my case, I like people---from a distance for the most part---and march too much to my own drum to fit in neatly to the social basket of others. But just like one can know something about football without ever having played it, one can know something about human relationships without being an exemplary social example.
Human relationships are best left to settle into the least fractious state. This is true for nations as well as friendship and marriage. The idea that friendship, marriage, and close relationships between nations can be, or should be, permanent is to deny that time changes all parties involved. Relationships often, probably more often than not, come and go. Here today and gone tomorrow. We all know that. Nevertheless, we sometimes try to pretend otherwise. When relationships sour, the blame game commences. But for what purpose? No matter whether it is friendship, music, politics, or other such ilk, each person likes what they like. And what they like can change for reasons peculiar to their own needs and feelings. Married couples should never take 'till death do us part" too seriously or they may find they die a thousand deaths en route to any distant actual death. Some relationships do last till death do part, a good thing but not the kind of good thing one can force. Hell, if people could force others to like them most would have married someone else. The devil made me say that.
Amicable partings should always be the goal. What is the point of "It's all your fault, now change and everything will be ok." Ah, not likely, more likely things will just get worse and more frequent. I know, there seem to be some people who love being, for lack of a better word----henpecked---which means enslaved by another's admonitions. That's ok too, another way for a successful relationship to flourish. One pecks away and the other thrives on the subjugation. Sometimes the fussing is mutual and becomes a way of life. There must be a thousand potential ways for two people or two nations to get along. I don't even remotely pretend to predict anymore which marriages will last---and if they last, what the real reasons are. Certainly the early lovey dovey cupidish aspect of the relationship has long gone---the entertaining real life theatromania remains.
Interrelationship involve emotions and the emotions of any relationship dull with time, some more, some less. Just about everything you once got so excited about and were enamored with lessen with time. And when they don't lessen it is truly remarkable, and those so blessed should be thankful. It is best when relationships sour both at once; it is more likely to be initiated by one with no real surprise to the other; and it is worst when the relationship is torched by external forces---death, career pressures, social pressures.
Watching people interact with one another is deep stuff---a window into the human mind and the diversity of human thought processes. We like to think that thinking is thinking, but it is not. Some parrots can repeat entire human conversations word for word but what kind of thinking is that? Beats me. Birds can migrate thousands of miles and return at the right time to the same place. What kind of thinking is that? Beats me. I guess we call it programmed thinking. But isn't all thinking some kind of neuronal programmed thinking? If a person is deprived of all incoming sensations they will quickly be disorientated and be unable to mentally function at all. So input is necessary for any kind of organized thinking, at least in humans. Thus by definition human relationships impinge on the thinking of both parties. Duh. So what else is new?
What is propaganda but the means to use particular input, especially that which carries with it emotional baggage, to direct the thought process of the recipient. Thinking and emotions are all interconnected and if they are not, you are mentally ill. Thus, most personality clashes and friendship terminations are emotionally provoked and driven. Without an emotional component friendships would not be likely to end. The changes in the two sides would then be duly noted, but not responded to in any emotional way. A lot of the glue which holds human relationships together is loyalty whether it be patriotism, family responsibility or respect for past good times. The trouble arises when such loyalty is the only glue left to hold the interrelationship. Everybody has been involved in and been an observer of such tenuous tense tip-toeing relationships. Good theatre and conversation but a poor basis for such relationships to continue.
In many respects, what works, works----what doesn't should be left to die a natural death and the parties involved should move on, be gracious about it, and form new friendships. Often times the best gift one can give another person or even to a group is to let go before individual feelings end up pulling everyone under the bus. Damage control should be a solid basis for terminating personal relationships. Whole nations, let alone smaller groups, have had their social amicabilities torpedoed by those who cannot, or will not, back off and let others be.
I guess for every personal relationship there will be the best of times and the worst of times. When the relationships end, for whatever reasons, the worst of times tend to be forgotten and the best of times remembered; that is the real blessing of human interactions. The object is to go off elsewhere and initiate more good times, not senselessly burden any relationship with endless charades of tip-toeing around the lessons 'needed to be taught'. Tippidy tipidy toe, tippidy tipidy toe---ah hah, GOTCHA! Very clever except guess whose turn is next?
