Acquired Imperturbable Serenity:
Serenity is not a state of mind associated with the formative or productive years. Whatever the varied and energetic goings on of youth or our productive years, it is left mostly to the terminational years to attain serenity. I wouldn't attempt to guess what percentage of those in their terminational years find serenity, but the failure to do so lies in the inability to stay out of the way of contentious human engagements and use the multitude of accumulated past experiences and observations to finally see the forest for the sake of the trees. Given relatively good health and at least minimal financial security, the terminational years are best suited for reflection, gratitude for past blessings, and personal introspection which creates a sort of mental portfolio of meaningful thoughts about your own life and life in general. This truly is the time to stop and smell the flowers, to better rearrange priorities, to take the rough edges off your personal prejudices, to finally reach a level of tolerance attainable only when one is no longer in the midst of all the pushing and shoving, to live without feeling so competitive or aggressive, to find the peace of solitude and reflection best found in nature rather than the hustle and bustle of human contentiousness centered around endless selfish small matters. It kind of gives new meaning to 'free at last'.
I know, why be 'free at last' as a prelude to 'dead at last'? I see the terminational years as a chance to write the eulogy of your life---I mean for yourself this is the only eulogy worth anything, with any other eulogies you'll already be dead. I guess my point with this short musing is that the terminational years can be a calming, introspective, serene experience. Since all of us differ, the route to serenity will differ, but I question whether anyone can really reach serenity without interacting with Mother Nature in one form or another. It just doesn't seem serenity comes from interacting with others, at least not lasting meaningful serenity. More seemingly, achieved serenity enables one to appreciate others, all kinds of others, and to tolerate people more. As a bonus, serenity achieved by those in their terminational years enables terminational people to be less of a burden or pest to others who are in their productive years. Dealing with medical states such as Alzheimer's Disease is of course a whole other matter. As far as I am concerned, this amounts to little more than sustaining some sort of potted plant---a totally useless and inane exercise. While the precise point might be debatable, there is always a point past which life is over, dead or not. I think each person should be required to put in writing their own thoughts about under what conditions they consider their life over, and these thoughts should be respected. I doubt anyone in their terminational years, having attained serenity in their life, would have the slightest interest in having some of their functional cells maintained when their 'being'---their very essence--- has left the building, or they are ready to pull the curtain. If dying isn't personal I don't know what is.
Part of what may block any achievement of serenity is the need for most people to envision some sort of personal partnership or relationship with God Himself. The assumption is often made that we as individuals in the evolutionary process are special enough to warrant a direct relationship with a God---a God viewed as some sort of celestial parent. And then we go even further and believe God communicates to us, and protects us via the dogma generated by the religion we inherit. This faith may be a useful crutch, but also creates endless tension and irrational mind sets. Many people, dealing with the stresses of aging, often are exasperated that God has abandoned them. It might be good for our ego to think God directed a particular sperm to a particular egg so that we as an individual might exist, or that God really communicates with us through some sort of inherited religion, or that God intercedes as the result of prayer to change this or that for us or others in matters of concern. Every Christmas Eve the Pope prays for Peace---like clockwork. Every preacher in every religion prays for peace repetitively, and peace never comes. Maybe God is deaf. We sometimes meet the Golden Rule by praying for the poor, the sick, the handicapped, the less fortunate and feel our obligations have been met through such praying. Like God will only help the poor etc. if we pray for him to do so. Maybe God just needs our nudging. Sure. We build gold gilded ornate temples of worship and stage elaborate ceremonies and engage in elaborate rituals, not all that different from ancient societies, in order to keep God on our side. Maybe God is stupid or vain. But in some sense all this does is to keep us on edge. As if God will make things better if only we can absorb the blows in life with which He tests us. Maybe God is the ultimate tormentor. It is really hard to enter any state of serenity in the presence of a tormentor.
The alternative is to accept God as the Creator of the evolutionary process, a process by now better documented, and that it is this process---His process---which has driven all aspects of the evolutionary process for eons. Maybe there is an afterlife. If so, it is no more astounding to human understanding than life itself. So each of us does the best he/she can with the cards dealt in the environment he/she finds themselves. We do the best we can, given the cards dealt, for both ourselves and others. And in this process, when the dust settles and we are in our terminational years, the proper kind of inward introspection gives us a sense of tranquility---an acceptance of the nature of life, and a gratefulness for the opportunity to have been a part of evolution, no matter how small the part, and just hope that maybe while life itself is a continuum (all forms of life were generated from already existing live cells), our own 'being' might likewise have a continuum in an afterlife. Serenity is not a state of mind one can get from wealth, or titles, or winning any contest, or receive from others, etc. No, serenity comes from an internal examination and appreciation of the God created evolutionary process.
During the formative years and productive years others are the sustenance for personal growth. During the terminational years any growth comes from within. This inward direction of thoughts tends to lead one away from excitement or challenges or competition and toward reflection---to search for soothing activities which generate a genuine mellowness. Too many elderly are bitter because they feel too much ignored by family or friends, and even more desolate when their peers go by the wayside one by one---either by death or otherwise. It really is hard to feel your support base crumble beneath you. Just as death needs to be seen as a natural product of living, inward thoughts need be seen as the sustenance for terminational serenity. Serenity is not the same as happiness or contentment. Contentment is achieving success from some earthly goal. Achieving success in the manner achieved during the productive years is gone with the wind by the terminational years. To pursue that kind of contentment or happiness is the race of a fool. That race really doesn't matter any more. Serenity is more the consequence of understanding the nature of the evolutionary process and our relationship to that process. Only then can one go gently down the stream to earthly oblivion.
It is the earlier stages of life which center on dependency of others and it is the last stage of life which needs to center on independence. No man is an island until the last stage of life. The choice is to let the island be some sort of barren, contentious, forlorn, lonely island---or an island of mellow serenity.
