Terminational Years Summary Check List:
"After all is said and done more is said than done." I think in my case this is too often true. Planning is the easiest hard part, following through is the hardest hard part. After all the time drawn out verbal discursiveness about terminational living as it applies to my own circumstances and personality, I have assembled the following check list as my self guide to contented terminational years.
____rather than depend a lot on others to provide a source of contentment I will seek to generate my own activities, things I can enjoy independent of others.
____use the fortunate blessings and successes of my productive and formative years as the source of gratitude for life. Based on this, life doesn't owe me anything and it is illogical for me to feel otherwise in my terminational years. "You can never go home again". Only fools try.
_____support political positions which tend to level the playing field for all. Rooting for those for whom the cards are stacked against is a kind of ethical bath good for the soul and the spirit.
_____never support violence as a solution to conflicts unless it is a defense against territorial aggression or genocide some place on the globe. Then, extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.
______LIVE AND LET LIVE. There can be no contentment when one fails to appreciate diversity, and this diversity includes all forms of life, varied cultures, varied races, varied religions, varied personalities. Failure here generates internal anger, bitterness, persecutory impulses, self centered scheming, and just removes any possibility of a contented state of mind since there will always be someone or some group who needs to be taught a lesson or two.
_____Let go of activities and/or relationships of your past which cannot be sustained at a level which will bring satisfaction and contentment. The future is not what it used to be. Accept it.
_____Do not be a burden to others, especially those in their productive years, or friends who for varied reasons have drifted away, gone down different paths, etc. Good friends are valued for their past contributions to your life, and will always be considered friends for that reason, never some sort of "what have you done for me lately?". Whether good friends drift away, go down different paths, now live in distant places, become bored with you, die, or whatever---you will lose them all in your terminational years, only the order of who loses who when varies. Roses die. Always. When relationships become inane or superficial or interests become divergent don't blame others. Times change, people change, situations change. Most marriages don't last, let alone all good friendships. What should not change is a commitment to help a good friend, past or otherwise, in a time of need. A person deserves reward for the years of friendship, not denial of past good times. Those friends who fade out of your life should be fondly remembered for the enrichment and support in earlier times. Period.
_____Do not be a pest to others. Far too many older people spend too much time being a pest. I have seen this so much in life, sustained only by a sense of duty on the part of the pestered. The legitimate question becomes, how do you know when you are being a pest? The answer I think is simple. Let others set the frequency of contact. Record the date of all phone calls, e-mails, letters, visits----whatever----from friends. If they tend to communicate once a month on their own---follow suit, let them set the time span. If it is once a week follow suit, if it is once a year follow suit. If it is never follow suit. It is good to remember that the kind of response obtained from a pestered target will never enrich your own sense of contentment, and in the broader sense it is no tragedy when others can live a meaningful life on their own. If they can so can you. When all else fails, for varied legitimate reasons, a pet may end up a real old person's best friend, the only one who really needs them. If you live long enough you will have trouble seeing well, hearing well, getting around well, and your immediate caregivers become your "family". If you can't get along with them, then contentment will vanish. Plan out in advance what you want done if your mind fades away, get it in writing---never ever leave the burden to others to make such a personal decision. Find a way through earlier planning to get any of your accumulated wealth into the hands of those in need who still have a life ahead of them. Don't let the government or religious driven loonies force your wealth into measures to keep you an essential vegetable for any length of time. Don't let friends or relatives of any kind siphon off your accumulated wealth to themselves. In a just world each person should build their own wealth. All accumulated wealth should be returned back to society in ways which will create a more level playing field for all. That is the ethics of religion. All else is invented bullshit.
____Start returning throughout your terminational years any accumulated wealth to the society from which it came. Don't pass it on to those who are fully capable of generating their own wealth. It doesn't even do them any favor. Those most contented in life achieved their status and wealth on their own. I think all my closest friends made it on their own and that is part of why I respect them. The support base needed by those who have no support base of their own, to give them some sort of level field, depend on a support base from those already affluent in society. Just throwing money doesn't work. People build people. When 1% of any society own more of the wealth than the bottom 90%, that society will shortly implode on itself. The have-nots always win and Nature always bats last. Rather than be a perpetual or part-time pest to those already blessed in life find "pictures from life's other side" and befriend them with emotional and financial support. The over 65 is the wealthiest class in America. The over 65 have the most time on their hands of any age group. Those over 65 with the mostest have an ethical responsibility to help those less fortunate, those with the leastest. Hell, you are going to die. Do it right. There will not be a second chance.
____I am no longer going to invest any of my income. What is already invested I will let grow until death and then give it all away to worthy causes. There is no need, after this year, to keep spending money like crazy. There is no reason I shouldn't live modestly. I have accumulated more than enough. My cup runneth over. With modest spending each year I should have thousands of dollars available to help those deserving, but less fortunate, find a path to financial and career success. You know, what the hell, in 10 or fifteen years I will be dead or limited in what I can do, or God forbid, be dead from the neck up. I have no intention of being suckered into some sort of 'live it up while you can' mode. The time to live it up is in your formative years and productive years. If you did a good job of it then you should be spent and entitled to relax, appreciate simple pleasures, and in my case observe the wonders of nature, read, fall asleep, then wander on to the next wonder to ponder, and try to seek paths less traveled---I call it tonic for the mind.
