All Hail the Home Run King:
I haven't really been a baseball fan for decades. When I was a kid I rooted for the 'Bums' and Duke Snider. I once planted myself between the stadium player exit and the gas station where Duke parked his car and about got trampled. But I still got my picture. I thought he was the home run King and the nice thing about baseball you can argue and argue about a lot of stuff with no real basis for any accurate comparison. Duke had a real short right field fence and was left handed, but no matter, to me he was the home run King. Bush, by most any honest measure is probably the worst President ever but no matter, to millions he is still some sort of adored King.
So I belatedly join preparing to hail or hate the about to be next home run King. I used to tell students, "I am not prejudiced at all, I hate everybody". It takes little effort for me to hate Barry Bonds even though I know less about him than most anyone else getting geared up for this hailing. I have seen brief interview clips of Bonds and he seemed surly, superficial, and irritating, but appropriately steroid induced blown up in all the right places. As I understand it, this steroid stuff is the crux of the matter. I guess there is no legal proof and we are left with if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck.
Maybe it is a bad thing to set the home run record. The last guy, Henry Aaron, was mostly hated for breaking Babe Ruth's home run record. A lot of people I guess threatened to kill him. He seemed a fake too---like how could a shy, quiet, mouse of the wrong color break Babe Ruth's record? I guess Henry changed over the years since now everyone seems to have admitted him to some sort of likable, personable sainthood. Babe Ruth was before my time but the clips of him always impressed me for how unathletic he looked---more like someone's alcoholic beer bellied uncle. I wanted the home-run King to look more like Charles Atlas with dimples and maybe a Johnny Carson like personality. I seem to vacillate in heroes between the 'oh gosh' embarrassed to be so good type, and the Terrell type who emerges from the pile like Godzilla with anyone who stood in his way dangling amidst his wreckage. Terrell anoints himself King. I guess always surviving so far makes him King of something.
Home run King. What does that really mean? Like so many baseball records there is, in fact, little basis to pick a King. The distance you have to hit the ball to get a home run varies considerably from park to park. Over times the bats change, the ball changes, the pitcher's mound changes, the number of games per season changes, umpires vary in their strike zone, age the person gets their first major league start varies, who hits in front or behind you matters quite a lot, etc. On top of all that, athletes of every generation have always been faster, stronger, and bigger than prior generations. Track and Field records get broken with each new generation. Now we add drugs to the mix and I suspect few records anymore are achieved in the absence of drugs of some sort. If not already, there certainly will be some sort of steroid which attaches to the proper receptor and then immediately gets metabolized into some non steroid substance which will not be detected in a drug test.
The sad thing is that all drugs have side effects, and especially steroids. They impact on more than just strength. To eventually be the best this steroid use will start earlier and earlier, just like even regular training in most skilled sports, to be optimally effective, must start very early in life. If my parents had been more concerned about my being a home run King and acted early enough, like maybe shortly after getting home from the hospital, I might have been the first to break Babe Ruth's record---5'6" and all muscle. All I got was a big head, maybe from the pounding I took at Ryder Field as a kid.
I guess all eyes are on Bud Selig. Will he attend or not attend? Doesn't the record happen whether he does or not? Like all good Commissioners elected by wealthy owners, Seligy is a lap dog there to protect the integrity of the game. For those who might not understand Commissionerspeakese, this means keep the money coming in so the owners can pile it higher and higher. This is a tough one for the commissioner. I guess about half the fans want Bonds to get the record and half hate him to get the record. Seligy will no doubt try to straddle the proverbial fence and say, "regardless how I might feel about any of the issues involved here, it is the duty of the Commissioner to attend the game where a new home run record is established. I will simply do my duty." I guess, like Martin Luther he might add, "I can do no other".
Enough, I have made my mind up and know how I will root. Bonds is still playing baseball and therefore he is entitled to become the new King. If Bush can be President by what logic can Bond be denied Home Run King? But I do hope it takes him many many weeks to hit another home run. I want to see Seligy traipsing all over the country doing his duty. Even lap dogs need a little exercise.
