The question now becomes, "what kind of things would I enjoy most in my terminational years?". In no particular order I have listed animals, redwood forests, Chicago, zoos, museums, nature trails, reading, music, National Parks, feeding deer, eating out, writing out my thoughts, watching football, cooking, arboretums/botanical gardens, rented movies, wandering around, and just observing people/politics.
I don't like social situations involving prolonged small talk and cleverisms. A little bit of that goes a long way with me, no where's near as far as it used to. I don't like competing for anything anymore and find it increasingly difficult to care all that much about winning anything that involves a lot of pushing, shoving, and arm twisting. I am simply done with that sort of thing. After all, at some point in the terminational process you have to quit striving hard to be liked, or to be important, or to have a lot of power, etc. I don't feel any pressing need to impress anyone about any of my past or present. There is no point trying to be relevant when you no longer are. My sole social obligation to others during my terminational years is not to mistreat others. Period. You may never mistreat someone and they yet want little to do with you. Big deal. If you are not depending on others for your own contentment, what does it matter? What they think of you should have little impact on what you think of them. Some people who have little use for me I happen to think are neat people.
Much as I criticize the increasing lack of social interaction, outside of immediate family, rampant in our country today, I think the greatest negative impact of this is, and will be, on the younger population. Much of the tragedy happening to this country, including the use of violence to solve conflict and the growing disparity of wealth between the have's and have not's, is because the younger generation have become indifferent and non involved. But for those of us in our terminational years, the internet opens up a whole new opportunity to stay mentally involved with a lot of things from which we would otherwise be isolated. There is little reason any more for an older person to feel isolated from whatever their interests. I spend a good deal of time every morning on the computer and it is very stimulating. In the past, grandma or grandpa got input from precious few contacts during their days. They could spend whole days just being a bother to others and that is not said in any kind of hurtful way to any of the parties involved. It was just hard on all involved no matter how noble and kind and dutiful the motives.
I am glad I can't be of any real bother to others. Of course given my penchant for dispersing my thoughts on so many topics, some of which most others would only keep to themselves, my notions on this or that CAN be a bother to others. For years, those who suggested I consider a blog for my musings, I pretty much ignored. I didn't want any possibility of total strangers interacting with me, or returning the favor by bothering me. Still, even though I only sent the musings to those who request them, I did't feel comfortable with that. Part of me says only send certain musings to certain people, but then that grants them some sort of thought police power. I mean why do people need protection from thoughts? I read all kinds of books on all kinds of topics purposely to understand matters from differing perspectives. I never watch network news programs anymore or read a daily newspaper. I don't need someone else slanting everything a certain way and then feeding it to me, like press secretaries do to the public for politicians. If I had my way Presidents would not be allowed to have speech writers or press secretaries. There is no need for us to hear from the President everyday with contrived sound bites. The President should be busy leading the government, not reading sound bites written by others and wandering all over the country raising money and making pitches to his special interest political bases. When the President has something to say to us or tell us, he should have to write it himself. To avoid being part of anyone's brainwashing I get my news off the internet and watch only the Public Broadcasting national and local news casts in which they simply let opposing viewpoints duke it out on topics relative to the news or topics of the day. I prefer to make my own decisions after hearing the arguments of both sides. At any rate I have now set up my own internet site for my musings in a format whereby no comments are possible except by those who know me well enough to have my personal e-mail address. I think this set-up is the fairest for all concerned.
When I was a teenager I used to tell others I was going to be a hermit when I grew up. I only became a semi hermit. My mother used to say, even in my older years, "When are you going to grow up?". Well, I finally have and finally, in my terminational years, will become my own customized hermit, some sort of delayed career objective. I have decided it is possible to become a hermit without living out in the wilderness somewhere. I choose to be a comfortable hermit, living a life of solitude amongst an overpopulated ever increasingly contentious mob of 'busy bees' seemingly now hell bent on tearing up the whole hive in an attempt to stash off for themselves as much of the community honey as they can. Just interacting with those I see often in my daily simple life is sufficient social interaction for me. Everyday now, till health ends it, is mine to live as the mood dictates. Like most, I am a creature of habit. The great thing about retirement, if you are financially secure, and if you are alone, is that everyday the slate is clean---you do what you want, when you want, how you want, at any pace your mood dictates. My cats are perfect companions because that is their nature too. I don't even have a usual time to get up or to eat, or to go to bed. The pattern I am beginning to be most comfortable with is mornings with musings and the internet, then a couple of hrs of house cleaning or paperwork, then afternoons and/or evenings wandering around nature or down town Chicago mixed in with reading here and there amongst my wanderings. I always take a book with me. Cooking no doubt will become an increasing part of my living now that getting the condo together is done. Evenings are for reading, watching Public Broadcasting national and local news, catching the Jay Leno monologue, and sometimes just lending an ear to this young security guard who struggles to make ends meet and thinks about ways to improve her lot in life. She is a security guard and her 7 yr boyfriend works at Target. Between the two of them they don't make enough to make ends meet. Maybe all the trickling down has been diverted elsewhere, like rebuilding areas we have blown up across the globe. I am glad such conversations take only a small part of my day. It is depressing. Both her and her boyfriend grew up on the West Side of Chicago, about the worst area of Chicago possible. Her father died when she was 13, he was one of many kids raised by a single mother. She needs a lot of dental work, is in debt to the IRS, their one car is a jalopy, and advising them on how to improve their lot in life is a real challenge. Maybe it is hopeless. She has no health insurance, he works for Target and probably has a health insurance policy whose deductible is equal to several months salary. And nobody cares anymore. We are busy fighting all sorts of foreign wars, giving tax breaks to the wealthy, doing away with inheritance taxes, and now I am told we are going to take our 12 million 'slave labor' force and deport them. We don't know who they are exactly but we are going to deport them. Let me see, we still have the disastrous War on Drugs, the disastrous War in Iraq, and now we are going to engage in a new War on these 12 million slave laborers. And just like that, boom, they will be deported. Sure. They will disappear underground, criminal activity will soar, and a new 12 million domestic terror cell will be born in this country. At some point this country has to accept responsibility for it's own actions. We had no business all these years leaving porous borders, we had no business letting work places hire illegals, and we have no business ever allowing any kind of slave labor force to exist in this country. They will be replaced by "Guest workers"!!!!! These are imported slaves, and nothing less. And I suppose we assume Mexico is going to allow millions back into their country. Oh well, we can always smuggle them back into Mexico I guess, after we catch them of course.
I will now focus on finding the best way to gradually part with some of my financial portfolio in a way which will directly help some of those most in need. As long as I am alive I want to give it in such a way that I can see the results. Until this house move I never kept track of my worth, maybe tally it up every couple of years. Now it is all under the umbrella of Fidelity and I get monthly reports. I have moved from 'Joe' client, to Silver Client, and now to Gold Client. A while back they assigned a 'senior' consultant to work with me on my portfolio, and after some harassment I finally did. Nice friendly gal who, after chatting with me, said "You have an interesting disbursement of of your money. Definitely different, but you have done well---I don't really want to take any risk of disturbing what is working for you. If what you are doing begins to sour, then give me a call."
Thus, with all the above as a background, I sense I am ready for my terminational years---however many years that might be. It starts with LIVE AND LET LIVE. That includes, DON'T BOTHER OTHERS----DON'T TRY TO USE OTHERS AS THE SOURCE OF YOUR CONTENTMENT---DON'T FALL INTO THE TRAP OF THINKING YOU CAN'T ENJOY YOUR OWN PECULIAR INTERESTS UNLESS YOU CONVINCE OTHERS TO PARTICIPATE IN THESE INTERESTS WITH YOU. EVERY TIME YOU DO THAT YOU HAVE OBLIGATED YOURSELF TO RECIPROCATE AND PARTICIPATE IN THEIR INTERESTS. THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS THEN TAINTED WITH ENDLESS WHEN AND WHERE TO DO WHAT HOW OFTEN. THE TRUTH IS, IF WE ARE HONEST WITH OURSELVES, IF SOMEONE WANTS TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY OF THE ACTIVITIES WE LIKE TO DO AND WANT TO DO IT WITH US, THEY WILL LET US KNOW. This is not to say I will never suggest someone do this or that with me, but the smart thing is to make the suggestion once, then let it drop. If they really want to do it, they will follow up. If they don't, for whatever reason, they won't. How many times do people end up doing something finally only after being badgered about it to varying degrees. Life in the productive years gave us all ample time for the "Ok, Ok, I'll do it" stuff. Part 4 to follow.
